Take My Heart and Create Something NewNew Every Morning | March 22, 2023
O God, who makes all things new,
new stars, new dust, new life;
take my heart,
every hardened edge and measured beat,
and create something new in me.
I need your newness, God,
the rough parts of me made smooth; …
And then, by the power of your Spirit,
I need to be turned toward Love again.
—Pamela C. Hawkins, The Awkward Season: Prayers for Lent
(Upper Room Books, 2009)
What new thing do you want God to do in you this Lent? Join the conversation.
Create in me a clean heart,
and put a new and right
spirit within me.
—Psalm 51:10 (NRSV)
Prayer for the Week
O loving Christ who waits for us all to move forward, to change inward, to love outward. Wait now with me as I long and learn to become more like you. Guide me to wait with the lost, to stand with the weak, to have a heart for the brokenhearted. Amen.
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(Courtesy of Vanderbilt Divinity Library)
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The Lord told Isaiah that He was doing a new thing, and creating streams in the desert. I’m not sure what new thing I would wish God to do in my heart this Lent. Yesterday’s question asked about then purpose of Lent. In my opinion the purpose is to prepare our hearts and to listen for God. I ask God to prepare my heart.
Yesterday was a tough day. When I woke, little Lewis told me it was time to go. I could tell he was suffering and in pain. He started new antibiotics Monday, and seemed to rally. I was hopeful he might be with us for a little while longer. But Monday night, he crawled in my lap and the look in his eyes said it was time. I told myself I was being morbid, that the new meds would help and he would be moving toward his old self by morning. But it was obvious yesterday morning that he was ready. We took him to our vet and she gave him something to calm him and make him comfortable. He passed peacefully around 10:30. I am shattered beyond words, but know it was the right thing. Lewis is well and happy and has been reunited with his buddies. The joy Lewis gave to everyone he met comforts me. But I will surely miss his cuddles and purrs. He was the sweetest, kindest creature I have ever known. It was an honor to be loved by him and care for him. Keep us in your prayers as we get used to life without this wonderful boy. I still marvel and wonder at what a gift from God he has been to us. But the story doesn’t end. Someone who could no longer care for a sweet little gray tabby part Bengal kitten surrendered her to our vet. She is very shy and the vet tech told us they were afraid that because of her shyness, no one would adopt her. So she came home with us and we have named her Patsy, after a favorite character on Call The Midwife. She’s still hiding in my closet, but purrs when I scratch her ears. She’s eating well too. I think her coming home with us is what Lewis would have wanted. Love to you all, and thank you for your kindness in remembering little Lewis. I can’t believe we lost him 4 weeks to the day after saying goodbye to little Scout Finch.
I had a wonderful conversation with my spiritual director yesterday. I shared with her that dad is coming home early – April 6 instead of April 19. One day before the anniversary of mom’s passing. And when I heard it – I was utterly exhausted. I had come to a good place of no guilt – not going down to Florida, not being with dad on the anniversary – and was quite relieved. Again, without the guilt. And, then, the news last week that he was coming home early. I felt guilt about feeling heaviness and quite frankly, not wanting to go through this anniversary with him. I told my spiritual director how weary I felt. And she asked me to consider that weariness as an invitation from my Lord – Matthew 11:28-30 – beckoning me to come to Him, me, who is weary – and find rest. We spent time in and over that Scripture and I dwelt again there this morning, with my Saviour – repeating those verses to Him and to myself. That will be my focus in the coming weeks, as I seek Him and allow Him to prepare me for this anniversary – and comforting my dad.
Things are coming together nicely at school. I think back to a week ago and how there was so much to do. And now I am in a good spot. Tomorrow morning I don’t have classes and will be able to tie up a few loose ends and be ready to roll the next two weeks prior to Easter/Spring break. A really good feeling.
After my meeting with my spiritual director, I picked up my tennis friend and we did a late dinner. Our time together is always unrushed and pleasant. I got home late, the kittens were raring to go and I had another short night of sleep. Tonight is small group – so another late night. I have about an hour to relax before jumping on the zoom.
I thought my friend was moving in with me today – but it is pushed back a week. She found out today her disillusionment case scheduled for Tuesday was cancelled and her case dismissed. They must re-file the paperwork and get a lawyer. She was devastated and in tears when I spoke to her after school. Her boss called and she had to get on with him and I haven’t heard back from her. It has been quite a long time since I heard her like that. I am very concerned for her.
Ally – I am sorry for your loss of Lewis. May Patsy be a buffer – never taking Lewis’ place, but wriggling into a part of your heart. I still think how Azzy hissed at me the first four days he was home with me. Now, we are all into our routine – and he is top dog/cat compared to sister Mugi.